


Too late to come back now?

by Letmebecomeataboo



Category: Derry Girls (TV)
Genre: 7 Minutes by Dean Lewis, 90'S, Also they're all eighteen, Chasing cars is here, Don't know when their birthdays are, F/M, Hurt, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Ireland, James can drive, James is confused, Jerin - Freeform, Mostly James and his thoughts, Not Beta Read, Post-Break Up, post canon i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-09-06 00:27:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20282365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Letmebecomeataboo/pseuds/Letmebecomeataboo
Summary: James thinks about earlier that night, how Erin had smiled at him when he came to pick her up. Her smile had lighted up her face in a way that made her look extra pretty. But that was hours ago, and as of seven minutes ago, Erin and James are no longer a couple. And James has no idea where it went wrong.





	Too late to come back now?

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on the song 7 minutes by Dean Lewis. I love this song, and I needed to write an Erin/James story to it. It’s to good not to. Also, I know Chasing Cars wasn’t released until 2006, but for the sake of the story, it was released in the 90’s.

__  
_It's been seven minutes now since I've lost my way___  
It doesn't seem that long but my whole world has changed

_It's in all the little things, when you smile, now it stings_ _  
It's been seven minutes since I've lost the girl of my dreams_

James’ hands clutch the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turn white. He has been driving for seven minutes, but already he is sure he has lost his way. Not that Derry is a big enough town for him not to know where he is, but it is definitely big enough for him to know that this isn’t the way back home. But how can he go home right now? Face Michelle and tell her what happened? His whole life has gone upside down in a few seconds. And Michelle will obviously blame him for this. Though it is perhaps his fault. He thinks about earlier that night, how Erin had smiled at him when he came to pick her up. Her smile had lighted up her face in a way that made her look extra pretty. But that was hours ago, and as of seven minutes ago, Erin and James are no longer a couple.

  
_It's been half an hour now since I dropped you home  
And I'm driving past the places we both know_

Half an hour ago, James had stopped his car outside of Erin’s house, and watched as she nearly tripped trying to get out of his car as fast as possible. During the car ride, she had gotten more and more quiet, until she sat completely still, staring right ahead. James can’t understand what had happened, where he had gone wrong. Their night had been perfect up until then. Speaking of perfect, as James continue to drive down the deserted Derry streets, he feels a lump in his throat when he realizes the way he is taking through the town. He is accidentally, or subconsciously, he doesn’t know which, driving the route that is basically his and Erin’s entire love story.

  
_Past the bar where we first kissed and that movie that we missed  
'Cause we were hanging out in the parking lot_

On his left, James passes the small bar where Erin celebrated her eighteenth birthday this summer. Back then, any thought James had of being in a relationship with Erin had been simple whishing. He had never in his whole life thought that Erin would demand he danced with her. But because he was James and she was Erin and she was drunk, and because James was scared that Michelle would snap his neck if he made Erin upset on her birthday, James had danced with Erin. James had never thought about it before that night, but Erin was a shitty dancer. But he supposed so was he.

“Erin, come on, you need water,” He had coaxed her, trying to get her of the dance floor before she embarrassed herself any further. She had followed him, back through all the others, and into the bathroom.

“I don’t actually need it,” Erin had said with a shrug when they entered. James had raised an eyebrow and turned on the tap. Erin rolled her eyes, before looking at the floor almost bashfully.

“I’m not drunk, James.”

“You’re not drunk? Erin, I- I just saw you drink like ten shots!” James had said confused. Erin shook her head.

“I-I didn’t take them. I just poured them into another cup when Michelle wasn’t looking. I didn’t like the taste. And also, I want to remember tonight and if I do like Michelle I won’t.”

James had seen her point. If there was one thing Michelle liked more than boys, it was getting shitfaced.

“Wait,” James had said. “Does that mean you’re actually that bad of a dancer?”

Erin had shoved him into the wall for that. Not hard, like Michelle would have, but it wasn’t comfortable either. But he had just laughed nervously, in normal James style, and so had she in her slightly strange Erin style. Before James had been able to even blink again, Erin had shot forward, her hands grasping his cheeks, and pressed her soft, lip glossed lips to his. The shock of it all had frozen him, making him unable to move when she pulled away. Erin’s whole face had become so dark red that James had feared she was gonna pass out.

“I-I,” was all Erin stuttered out, before turning on the spot. She was so close that the end of her blonde hair hit James in the face, and a wave of soapy smell hit him. Erin had tried to run out, but James grabbed her wrist.

“Erin, don’t go. I really liked it.”

From that night, they had not been able to stay away from each other. They were both shitty liars, and it was a miracle that they managed to keep their relationship a secret for as long as they did. But they did. For more than two whole months.

James drives past the bar. He knows if he takes a left now, he will drive past the movie theatre, which he doesn’t really want to, but somehow his brain and body doesn’t work together, and he turns left. Damn it, he thinks, as if it isn’t him that had just made this turn. The theatre comes up on his left, dark in the night. It closed nearly an hour ago, James knows.

He thinks about that time, not long after he and Erin had started their thing, as they had called it back then. The whole group had gone out to go see some new Hollywood hit movie. They had been running late, and Michelle was more than ready to kill them all if they didn’t get their speed up.

“Come on, dickhead,” Michelle had basically screamed at James, from where he was jogging behind her.

“I’m coming! Yeesh, Michelle,” James had added the last part under his breath. But then Erin had turned her head, and smiled at James, and he hadn’t been able to do anything but beam back at her. She was just to pretty. They had all reached the parking lot when Erin stopped. Patting at the pockets, she looked around quickly.

“I’ve lost me wallet,” she had proclaimed loudly. Orla, Michelle and Clare had all turned around so fast James had nearly believed they were supernatural beings or something.

“You don’t need it, come on!” Michelle had said impatiently.

“Yeah, Erin, come on! We’re missing the beginning of the movie,” Clare had piped up, bouncing up and down.

“Sorry, girls, but me ma will kill me. Go inside and sit down. James will help me look,” It was first then that James understood what Erin was doing. She was buying them alone time. Which he really didn’t mind. Michelle just shrugged an okay. She wasn’t about to miss the biggest movie of the year for something as stupid as Erin’s wallet, and the three girls disappeared inside. Once the door shut behind them, James turned to Erin. They were all alone in the deserted parking lot.

“You haven’t actually lost it, have you?” Erin snorted in her usual, adorable way, and James grinned when she pulled the blue and pink wallet out of the pocket of her jacket. The jacket that was almost the exact same as his. He liked that they had matching jackets.

“’Course I haven’t,” Erin said and put the wallet back in her pocket. “But I wasn’t about to tell Michelle to get lost so I could kiss the English fella who happens to be her cousin.”

“Oh, you’re planning to kiss an English fella?” James had asked with a smirk. The flirty part of him was very new, a recently developed ability. Erin laughed.

“Oh, yeah I was. Have you seen him about? Very curly hair, green eyes that Orla thinks are brown, stupid English accent, and he hates the word wee for some reason.”

James had joined her laughing, and put both arms around her waist, pulling her into a kiss. Erin had still laughed as their noses bumped awkwardly, and her hands settled around his neck. James liked when she did that. He pulled back.

“Wee is a very stupid word by the way.”

They never got to see the movie.

  
_Now I sink a little deeper, think a little clearer_  
Looking at myself through these newfound eyes  
  


James hate himself for driving this way, for bringing up all his happy memories. Why is he doing this to himself? His head feels as if it is filled with cotton, and his eyes are burning. But he doesn’t want to cry. He’s not sure he can cry. His thoughts are replaying the last car ride again and again but he just can’t seem to remember what happened. What did he say that ruined everything?

  
_Radio's playing songs for me and you_  
"Chasing Cars" reminds me of nights in your room  
Drinking wine under your window, back when life was so damn simple

The radio is quietly playing music in the background, but the sound of James’ own thought does a good job of drowning it out. That is until something familiar comes on. It hits James like a sudden wave on the beach, making all the thought clear from his head immediately.

The song is Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol. The first time it had come on the radio, James had thought it to be not that great, but Erin had loved it. They had hanging out in her bedroom with a bottle of wine Erin had nicked from her mother’s cabinet.

“I know I can buy me own, but this one is expensive and I can’t afford that,” had been her justification as to why she nicked it. James had accepted the reason. No one knew about them still, six weeks after their first kiss on Erin’s birthday. But it didn’t feel like they were lying to people. It wasn’t as if they were working too hard to conceal it. Michelle and Orla and Clare were hanging out at Clare’s house this evening, but Erin had faked a head ace and James pretended he had to go to work. He didn’t even work on Fridays.

Erin had also grabbed two cups from the cupboard, and they sat completely pressed against each other under Erin’s window.

“Did you like the wine?” Erin had asked him, because their conversation had died down. James had shrugged, aware of how his t-shirt was the only thing separating his skin from Erin’s bare arm. She was wearing a tank-top that night.

“I suppose it is good. I know not so much about wine, though,” James had admitted sheepishly, and Erin had laughed.

“I don’t either,” She had said, before drinking the rest of her glass in one sip. James did the same, and watched as Erin put her glass down with a little more force then necessary. Her eyes locked with his, and slowly, she got on her knees, and crawled onto his lap, straddling him.

“Hi,” he had said, laughter evident in his voice.

“Hello,” Erin had said back completely serious, and then James had heard it. The nervousness in her voice. In the background, the song had changed to something slow that James had never heard before.

“I like the song,” Erin had said, and swallowed deeply. James let a few more words come from the radio.

“I don’t think I do, actually,” he had admitted. Erin had shrugged. “But I like you.”

It was perhaps the cheesiest thing James had ever said, but it made Erin smile, and she leaned forward and kissed him. He had kissed her back, deeply. That night, with various song playing in the background, James Maguire and Erin Quinn had sex for the first time. James was pretty sure he would never forget that.

  
_How the hell did I end up losing you? _

The more James drives, and the more James thinks, he can’t help but wonder. What the hell happened between him and Erin?

_Is it too late to turn around?_ _  
I'm already halfway out of town_

_Now I know how I let you down_ _  
Oh, I finally figured it out_

James wonders if he can turn around now. Go back to Erin’s house and just talk to her! Figure out what the hell he did. But he is already nearly out of town. He’s not sure where he’s going at the moment, but he knows it’s not back home to his aunt and uncle’s house. No way, not right now, not like this. He needs to think. His mind wanders to the last time he nearly left Derry. They had all been sixteen, a little over two years ago now, and James had been ready to move back to England with his mother. He still remembers the look on Erin’s face when he had told her, and the others, that he was leaving. The way her whole face had fallen and she hadn’t said anything, just looked at him with that sad, sad look. It looked just like- just like how Erin had looked when she left his car earlier tonight. Then it hit him. Like a brick wall had connected with his face, it hit him. James had realized it.

Erin had said something. Something that had gone right over his head, that he hadn’t realized or responded to or even cared about at all, because he had been so busy with something else. Erin had said she loved him.

  
_I forgot to love you, love you, love you_  
I forgot to love you, love you, love you  
I forgot to love you, love you, love you  
I forgot to love you, love you

James slams the breaks, and pulls up to the curb outside a random house. How the fuck can he have been so stupid? How didn’t he realize what Erin had said? She had sat there, right next to him, in the seat that is still to his left right now. Erin Quinn loves him. And he loves her! But he didn’t fucking tell her. He didn’t even really hear her! Five months of dating, and he didn’t pay attention the first time Erin said she loves him. He didn’t say it back! He really is a fucking idiot. A bloody, wee English fucking dickhead as Michelle would say. It’s true. Erin had said it standing by her door. When he had asked her if she was okay, why she was mad, she had said.

“James,” she had said, “You are really thick headed.”

He hadn’t understood. He had gotten irritated. That had made her irritated as well, and even when tears had started running down her cheeks, and all James had wanted to do was run up to her, he had stayed in place.

“Fuck you, James. I’m breaking up with you, I never wanna see you again!”

  
_If I came back now would you still be there?_  
If I come around would you even care?  
If I came back now would you still be there?  
If I come around would you even care?  
  


James is leaning his head on the steering wheel of the car. What is he supposed to do now? Erin said she never wanted to see him again. It’s nearly been an hour. An hour isn’t even close to never. Never is forever. He wonders if he drives back, if she’ll talk to him. If Mary will let him inside to talk to Erin. Will Erin even want to see him? Perhaps she has run of, to Clare or Orla to cry out her feeling. No, that isn’t likely. Erin doesn’t tell others that she is feeling sad. She always thinks she has to be strong. James has always admired her for that, but he also kept reminding her that it is allowed to break down. James can feel tears down his own cheeks. He straightens up, and angrily wipes them away. This won’t fix anything. As fast as possible, James starts up the car, and makes a turn he is pretty sure is illegal, driving as fast as he can without breaking to many laws, back towards the Quinn/McCool house.  
  


  
_Is it too late to turn around?_  
I'm already halfway out of town  
Now I know how I let you down  
Oh, I finally figured it out  
  
  


It takes him fifteen minutes to get to Erin’s house. This time he has taken as many shortcuts as he knows about. He’s only had his licence for six months. But with all the mistakes he’s making as he drives, one would have thought it was shorter. But he needs to see Erin. Needs to see her now, tell her the truth.

The moment the Quinn house comes into view, he pulls his car over, leaves it with the key still in, and wrenches the door open. In a few long steps, he’s by Erin’s door. He knows Erin’s little sister is asleep at this time of night, but he can’t say he cares when he presses the doorbell long and hard three times in a row. As he’s waiting for the door to open, he paces back and forth. His curls are everywhere, because he can’t stop running his hands through them. Finally, the door opens. James’ heart leaps. But it’s not Erin. It’s Mary.

“Mrs Quinn, hi. Is- um- is Erin home?” He asks, and the blonde woman raises an eyebrow. James swallows. “Please, I really need to talk to her.”

“She told me to say she wasn’t here. But you just wait a moment.” then Mrs Quinn disappears further into the house. James is left alone in the hall, tugging at the sleeve of his jacket. He hears talking, and a loud grumble that he assumes is from Granda Joe. He won’t be surprised if it is the old man and not Erin that shows up now, ready to kill him. But then the shuffling of socks across wood come towards him, and there is Erin. James feel his breath pulled away.

Her hair is a mess, full of tangles like she has twisted it to many times. Her eyes are bloodshot and her nose red. It feels worse than a physical punch for James to know he is the reason that Erin has cried.

“Hi-” Erin begins, but James cut her off.

“I love you too.”

  
_I forgot to love you, love you, love you_  
I forgot to love you, love you, love you  
I forgot to love you, love you, love you  
I forgot to love you, love you, love you

Erin freezes in the door, her eyes wide as she stares James. He’s shuffling his feet nervously, nearly holding his breath. Suddenly he realizes this is how Erin must have felt in his car, now nearly two hours ago. How could he have been so stupid? He had been ranting about Doctor Who, and when Erin had told him he was a nerd, but she loved him anyway, he hadn’t listened. Why the fuck hadn’t he listened? In front of him now, James can see Erin’s eyes well up with tears.

“Why didn’t you say that earlier?” she chokes, and James want nothing else than to run up and hug her as close as he can. But instead he shrugs. A blush coats his cheeks as he looks at the ground.

“I forgot. But I still mean it. I love you Erin Quinn. Very much.”

“You could’ve just said that earlier,” Erin says slowly, and James can actually hear the conflict in her voice. He looks up, and meets her puffy eyes with his own, probably, matching set.

“I know. I’m the biggest idiot in all of North Ireland. Maybe all of Brittan. I’m sorry. Very, very sorry.” Erin wipes a tear away with the back of her hand, almost angrily. James wonder what her next words will be. She’ll probably tell him to fuck off. He deserves that.

“You really are an idiot,” Erin agrees, but then she smiles softly. For a split second, James is very confused, but then Erin shoots forward, wraps her arms around his neck, and kisses him right on the lips. James can’t help but let out a sigh of relief, and the puff of air makes Erin laugh against his lips. It’s all James need. With a grin so large he thinks it might split up his face, he wraps both arms around Erin’s waist, and picks her up, spinning her around. She laughs again, and kisses him once more. When James had put her down, and they have managed to pull apart, James breaths out.

“Let’s never break up again, okay?” He asks and Erin nods.

“Yeah, I like that idea,” she says with a smile, and kisses him again. James feels like he is floating, he’s so happy. He loves Erin, and Erin loves him and they aren’t broken up anymore. Those two hours were really almost the worst of James entire life. But here he is, the girl of his dreams in his arms. Nothing can take this away from him.

“Hey! No funny business in my house!” James pulls away from Erin, and sees Granda Joe rushing towards them, a very angry look on his face. James takes a step away from Erin.

“I should probably-”

“Yeah, you should,” Erin fills in. James nods very quickly, the pulls Erin in for a last peek on the lips. Then he turns around, and runs back to his car. He’s not about to fall victim to Joe’s anger. The man is scary.

“Hey, you! Come back here!” He hears Joe call behind him, but James is already inside his car, the largest grin on his face. As he starts his car, he sees Erin grab her granda’s arm, shaking her head.

“It’s okay, granda. We’re not broken up anymore.”


End file.
